Velcro, Teflon and Optimism

Negativity Sticks like Velcro. The positive can slip away like Teflon.

Optimism and awareness can change this.

I’m what you might call a “passionate optimist”.

My optimism and positivity are bundled with some left-brain leanings - curiosity that draws me to science, facts, and data. We are drawn to data that supports our bias - in my case, data that highlights the benefits of optimism and positivity.

While that may sound like a warning label for what you are about to read, positivity and optimism are not traits I worry about overusing. They are contagious in the best way, and a necessary skill for leaders.

The Facts - The Science of Sticky Negativity

If positivity were a coating, it would be Teflon, and negativity would be high-grade Velcro.

Neuroscience tells us that our brains have a built-in negativity bias—a survival mechanism from our evolutionary past. It may not be needed in modern life, but it exists.

• Negative events stick like Velcro. Your brain stores them in long-term memory so you can recall and compare them with future experiences. (Yes, you get to relive all those things you want to forget.)

• Positive events act like Teflon. Unless you intentionally focus on them, they can slide away quickly before you’ve fully appreciated them.

Negativity bias is why a single piece of negative feedback can dominate your thoughts and crowd out a dozen pieces of praise. It explains why, when you get a test back, you are looking for what you got wrong, not absorbing the positive comments. Sadly, the negative feeling of not being able to answer a question may be all you recall from a stellar presentation you gave yesterday.

Optimists are neurologically wired to recover faster from negative stimuli.

• Optimists don’t ignore bad news; they process it differently. They have an attentional bias towards the positive; they see it, but they don’t linger on it. Visually, they take it in and widen their aperture.

In my work with leaders, this is critical. Leaders who are making decisions under pressure or managing difficult conversations need to process the “bad news”, put it in perspective and recover quickly.

Think of the leader who you watch recover quickly in a difficult debate or continue confidently after receiving bad news. It took some training and practice not to react or freeze.

Why Leaders Should Care

Optimism is a component of Emotional Intelligence; leaders who share this strength are resilient and have enhanced problem-solving abilities in the face of adversity. You can count on them to continue inspiring and motivating their teams with positivity through periods of change.

And like all elements of emotional intelligence, optimism is a skill you can develop.

Leaders use awareness of negativity bias and optimism to counter the effects of negativity bias:

• Decision-making – A single setback that sticks front and center in your mind can overshadow a long track record of strong performance that’s slipped away like Teflon.

• Team morale – Criticism can weigh heavier than recognition, a project debrief leaves the team focused on what went wrong, even when success was noted. Does your sales team do win-loss reviews or just loss reviews?

• Self-confidence – Without intentional reflection, it’s easy to forget past successes in moments of doubt or stress.

Awareness is power - and self-awareness is the first step. Watch for the thoughts that are sticking to you like Velcro. When you know your brain is wired to latch onto the negative, you can work—intentionally keep the positive moments from slipping away. Keep them in focus and perspective.

While some of us are by nature more optimistic, research confirms that optimism can be learned. It’s a skill worth developing that will benefit you personally, as a leader, and in all aspects of your life.

Over time, this practice can shift not only your mindset but also the culture you create around you.